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Internet Safety Is a Parent's Responsibility
The holidays may have brought brand-new computers into many homes. It is amazing how fast kids learn how to use the Internet and other forms of technology. Therefore, it is important for children to know the information they encounter on the Internet could be deceptive or encourage them to explore in ways that might put them in jeopardy.
Parents need to establish boundaries for Internet use. This can be done by writing a contract that outlines appropriate computer and Internet use for their children to sign. The contract should spell out clearly what the consequences will be if the rules are deliberately (not accidentally) broken. The signed contract should be posted in a prominent place near the computer as a reminder.
Some basic rules that might be included in the contract include:
If I see or do anything that makes me feel uncomfortable when I am on-line, I will immediately turn off the computer monitor and go get my parents or a trusted adult to deal with the situation.
I will tell my parents or a trusted adult if a person I don't know or any other on-line resource (e.g., a music download company that requires registration) asks me for personal information such as my name, address, phone number, or asks to meet in person.
I will not be rude or mean when chatting on-line. If I receive a message that is mean or rude, I won't respond. I will, instead, tell my parents or a trusted adult.
This process should be the start of an ongoing dialogue on Internet safety. It is important that children feel comfortable talking about all their on-line experiences, both good and bad, with their parents. Threatening to take away computer privileges as a punishment should be avoided; children probably will just find another way to access the Internet, and this time they may not tell anyone about what they are doing there.
This information is shared courtesy of the NetSmartz Workshop.
Reprinted from California State PTA The Communicator, January 2004
The following information is taken from the Crime and Violence Prevention Center web site of the California Attorney General’s Office. You may download this information in the form of a tri-fold brochure on their web site. It would be excellent to hand out to secondary students. Enter their web site, www.SafeState.org, click on teens, click on Your Safety and then on Teen Dating Violence.
Teen dating violence is similar to adult relationship violence. It includes hitting, yelling, threatening, name calling, and other forms of verbal, sexual, emotional, and physical abuse. The number of incidents and the severity of the abuse increases as the relationship continues. Teen dating violence can be as lethal as domestic abuse. Dating violence affects about one in ten teen couples. Very few tell anyone who could help, such as a parent, a teacher, a counselor, or the police.
Questions To ask In Identifying Abusive Behavior
Does your partner get jealous when you go out or talk with others?
Does your partner constantly check up on you?
Do you find your partner saying, “I can’t live without you?”
Does your partner frighten or intimidate you?
Are you constantly apologizing for your partner’s behavior?
Do you feel like you have to justify everything to your partner?
Does your partner try to impose restrictions on the way you dress or your appearance?
Are you unable to disagree with him/her?
Does your partner put you down, but then tell you he/she loves you?
Have you been held down, shoved, pushed, hit, kicked, or had things thrown at you by your partner?
Does your partner make you choose between him/her, or family and friends?
Has your partner forced or intimidated you into having sex?
Are you afraid to break up with your partner because you fear for your personal safety?
If you answered yes to one or more of the above questions, then the relationship may be abusive. Part of ending the violence is breaking the silence about the abuse. You CAN find a way out. Talk with someone who can help, such as your parents, a teacher, a school guidance counselor, a parent of one of your friends, a coach, an advisor, or your employer.
Things To Do When Ending An Abusive Relationship
Keep a dated record of the abuse.
Do not meet your partner alone or let him/her in your home or car when you are alone.
Avoid being alone at school, at work, and on the way to and from places.
Vary the routes and times you travel to and from home, school, or work.
Tell someone where you are going and when you plan to be back.
Plan and rehearse what you would do if your partner confronted you or became abusive.
How to Help a Friend Who is in an Abusive Relationship
Talk to your friend and be nonjudgmental when discussing the abuse.
Listen to your friend and believe him/her.
Let your friend know that violence under any circumstance is unacceptable.
Express your understanding, care, concern, and support.
Point out your friend’s strengths. He/she may not see his/her own abilities and gifts because of being blinded by the effects of the abuse.
Encourage your friend to confide in a trusted adult. Offer to go with him/her for help.
Talk to a trusted adult if you believe your friend’s situation is getting worse.
Help your friend by suggesting a counselor or an advisor you trust.
Never put yourself in a dangerous situation by being a mediator.
Call the police if you witness an assault.
Read articles or books that could help you or your friend.
Things Not to Say or Do
Don’t be critical of your friend or his/her partner.
Don’t ask blaming questions such as, “What did you do to provoke him/her?” “Why don’t you just break up with your partner?” or “Why can’t you handle him/her?”
Don’t pressure your friend into making quick decisions.
Don’t assume he/she wants to break up with his/her partner or that you know what’s best for your friend.
What You Can Do
Start a peer education program on teen dating violence, and present programs to classes at school or in your community.
Ask your school library to purchase books about living without violence and the cycle of violence.
Raise awareness by making posters or hosting programs at your school during Domestic Violence Awareness Month in October.
Produce plays in your drama program that address teen dating violence or domestic abuse.
Places to Contact for Further Information
Local battered women’s shelters or rape crisis centers
California YOUTH CRISIS LINE 1-800-843-5200
National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233
Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network Hotline 1-800-656-4673
The Legal Aid Foundation
The public library
Further references on the www.SafeState.org web site or write to:
California Attorney General’s Crime and Violence Prevention Center
1300 I Street, Suite 1120
Sacramento, CA 95814
With graduation season upon us, some high school seniors may still be pondering their future direction: entering the workforce, taking time off from education, or immediately pursuing a college or technical degree.
In many cases, parents may not realize what an important role they play in their children’s decision-making process. In fact, according to a new survey of young adults by Public Agenda, parental encouragement is the greatest factor influencing a child’s decision on what to do after high school.
National PTA offers several articles that will help you and your teen make a successful transition from high school to the next step in his or her life. The following articles are available at http://www.pta.org/parentinvolvement/helpchild/hc_reach_sky.asp
“How Is a Parent to Know if a Teen is Ready for College?”
“Helping Teens Who Are College Bound”
“Alternatives that Don’t Require a Four-Year Degree”
“Hello, We Must Be Going: Forging New Connections When Kids Move from High School to College”
For parents with younger teenagers, there’s no time like the present to begin talking about postsecondary education plans.
The study from Public Agenda, titled “Life After High School,” is available at http://www.publicagenda.com/research/research_reports_details.cfm?list=31.
Do You Know What Your Child Is Watching?
"Young people today live media-saturated lives, spending an average of nearly 6.5 hours a day with media," according to a report released this month by the Kaiser Family Foundation. The report, "Generation M: Media in the Lives of 8-18 Year-Olds," also found that because young people frequently use multiple types of media at a time, they are exposed to the equivalent of 8.5 hours of media content in those 6.5 hours.
Which are the most popular forms of media? Below are the average amounts of time young people spend each day with various types of media (the figures are averages across seven days of the week).
Watching TV (including videos, DVDs, and prerecorded shows): 4 hours
Listening to the radio or to CDs, tapes, or MP3 players: 1.75 hours
Using computers (outside of schoolwork): 1 hour
Playing video games: 50 minutes
Reading (books, magazines, or newspapers for something other than schoolwork): 43 minutes
In contrast to the 6.5 hours young people are spending each day with media, young people are spending an average of only 2.25 hours with their parents, 2.25 hours with friends, 1.5 hours in physical activity, and less than 1 hour doing homework.
More than half of the 2,000 young people surveyed said that their families have no rules about TV watching, or use of any kind of media. Of those young people whose families do have rules, only 20 percent said that the rules are enforced most of the time.
National PTA offers several resources to help parents manage their children's exposure to media.
"Navigating the Children's Media Landscape: A Parent's and Caregiver's Guide," authored by the American Institutes for Research and released by National PTA and Cable in the Classroom, offers ideas and strategies to help families develop a comprehensive media plan that will allow them to take control of their TV viewing, Internet use, and other media activities.
Healthtex fights revealing clothing trend with "grow slow" campaign.
It used to be only high school teachers who had to deal with students wearing inappropriate clothes to class. Then middle school teachers started carrying rulers to measure skirts. Now elementary school boys and girls look like they're ready to hit a fashion runway instead of the playground.
Magazines, MTV, the Internet, a desire to look like older siblings and friends--all contribute to children's dressing and acting like they're 8 going on 18.
Given the pervasiveness of today's pop culture, it may be impossible to keep children from every bad influence. But parents and teachers can combat the racy outfit trend by educating kids on what is appropriate for them to wear.
One children's clothing designer is providing alternatives to mini skirts, midriff-baring shirts, and baggy jeans. Healthtex, a Lollytogs brand, developed stylish yet appropriate clothing because it believes children should be children for as long as they can.
That's the idea behind Healthtex's "grow slow" campaign.
"Childhood is fleeting," said David Scott Grubbs, Healthtex brand manager. "We should take advantage of every opportunity and every moment with our kids. 'Grow slow' is a simple concept--enjoy this innocent stage and return to the values of youth and family."
Healthtex's website, <http://www.healthtex.com/>, offers hip and wholesome clothing, and fun activities parents can do with their children. Click on "about grow slow" for more information.
A Message from National PTA Sponsor Lollytogs, Ltd. Reprinted from the National PTA Weekly.